The spoon was just one tiny part of the thousands of pieces of solid silver cutlery specially commissioned to furnish the Grand Dining Room of the great liner.  After the shudder of impact, panic ensued.

As women and children filled up the few lifeboats and the band played “Nearer my God to thee”, Charles fortified himself with big glugs of 12 year old malt whisky he’d had his eye on and, to further calm his nerves he slipped his favourite spoon safely into his tunic pocket.

He threw himself over the side and, after inflating his trousers as he’d been taught in school swimming lessons, he used his trusty spoon to conduct himself and sang patriotic songs until he blacked out.

Two and a half hours later, the Titanic had disappeared into the icy depths. Charles was one of the few who survived in the freezing water. Some say it was the alcohol in his bloodstream that kept him alive until the rescue ship Carpathia arrived. As for Charles, he always swore his survival had more to do with his lucky spoon, which he subsequently carried all through the first world war, serving with distinction as Field Marshall Douglas Haig’s batman.

The next time you use a spoon, let this extraordinary tale remind you what a life-saver a well place spoon can be.

This spoon was one of the implements used, over many months, to dig three escape tunnels – codenamed ‘Tom’, ‘Dick’ and ‘Harry’.

Teams of men scratched and scraped away at the earth under their huts, burrowing hundreds of feet under the perimiter of the camp. Famously shedding the earth down their trouser legs under the noses of the unsuspecting guards.

Finally on 24th March 1944, a moonless night, 76 men and managed to escape before the alarm was raised.

Harry Rickwood, one of the diggers couldn’t bear to leave his trusty spoon behind, so he tucked it in his pocket and carried it all the way through occupied Germany, France into Spain and then home to Blighty. He presented it to a grateful nation and it now resides in the Imperial War Museum’s collection.

The incident was deeply embarrassing for Hitler, who went completely Tonto but, in 1972, the German government dropped the theft charges against Harry as a condition of the UK’s entry into the Common Market.

The spoon’s part in the historic escape has remained little known. Until now. So the next time you stir your tea, pause a while and remember the spoon that got away.

As the midwife smacked his peachy, Prussian bottom a small, solid silver spoon shot out of his mouth, landing on the floor of her filthy hovel. News of this miracle swept the country and soon the peasantry were queuing around the pigsty to see Illegitimate George and his spoon.

Catherine grasped the opportunity and began charging folk to touch the spoon and soon became very wealthy indeed.

As Illegitimate George grew, so did his wealth and fame. He also became very popular with the ladies, many of whom soon gave birth to spoon bearing infants. He travelled Europe sowing his wild oats, unknowingly spawning future Royal houses and eventually, he settled in the leafy village of Windsor, England.

He met a local girl, fell in love, married and used his vast wealth to become King.

George, as he was now known, continued to sire spoon-bearing children, in and out of wedlock, calling them all George and making them Earls, Dukes, Lords and Barons. These weak-chinned wonders in turn all inherited his unique oral gift and the British aristocracy was established.

Without this simple sliver of silver, the British monarchy that we know and love simply wouldn’t exist. There would be no People Of Spoon Heritage and the British class system, envied the world over, would stop at upper middle.

The Spoon, more remarkable than we realise.