In a small hamlet in southern Prussia in late 1691, Catherine of Hanover, gave birth to her first son, Illegitimate George.
As the midwife smacked his peachy, Prussian bottom a small, solid silver spoon shot out of his mouth, landing on the floor of her filthy hovel. News of this miracle swept the country and soon the peasantry were queuing around the pigsty to see Illegitimate George and his spoon.
Catherine grasped the opportunity and began charging folk to touch the spoon and soon became very wealthy indeed.
As Illegitimate George grew, so did his wealth and fame. He also became very popular with the ladies, many of whom soon gave birth to spoon bearing infants. He travelled Europe sowing his wild oats, unknowingly spawning future Royal houses and eventually, he settled in the leafy village of Windsor, England.
He met a local girl, fell in love, married and used his vast wealth to become King.
George, as he was now known, continued to sire spoon-bearing children, in and out of wedlock, calling them all George and making them Earls, Dukes, Lords and Barons. These weak-chinned wonders in turn all inherited his unique oral gift and the British aristocracy was established.
Without this simple sliver of silver, the British monarchy that we know and love simply wouldn’t exist. There would be no People Of Spoon Heritage and the British class system, envied the world over, would stop at upper middle.
The Spoon, more remarkable than we realise.